Dec 28, 2010

Resolutions, Revisions, and Regrets

As we approach yet another new year, it is a time to reflect upon the last 365 days of life and how they were spent. This year I experienced a lot of changes in mine, both positive and negative. Overall, it was a good year mainly because I finally found a job I am both capable of doing and enjoying. However, I am still struggling with the fact that I am not where I want to be health-wise after suffering through three years of POTS. Luckily I discovered that my symptoms respond positively to weight-bearing exercise, so I am going to make that more of a priority in the coming year. Another resolution of mine is to phase out all chemical-based cosmetics, and personal and household products. I do not like to waste things, so I am simply using up or giving away the old, and when I replace a product I will replace it with something green and chemical-free. I hope that this shift in products will be reflected in my health. I also intend to gradually eat better and buy organics whenever possible. That's about it for my resolutions this time. I'm keeping it simple. I used to be a fan of elaborate lists and detailed action plans, but since work has been consuming so much of my time lately, I figure it's best to have a few basic, realistic resolutions in mind that I can actually stick to.

After recently finishing the first two seasons of Being Erica (in my opinion it's one of the best shows on television), I realized that I too, have a long list full of regrets--19 of them to be precise. For those of you who haven't seen the show, it's the story of a woman in her early thirties who just can't seem to get her life together, although she is bright, well-educated and has a lot going for her. She visits a "therapist" who engages in unconventional therapy sessions with her where he enables her to travel back in time to relive her biggest regrets. The show is what I would classify as a dramedy: Erica is a highly relatable character and the flashback scenes to her teen and college years are generally very funny. But the show also deals with some serious subjects and subliminally encourages viewers to evaluate their own lives and regrets.

Looking over my own list of regrets I couldn't help but wonder if reliving a few of them differently may have prevented me from getting sick. For example, if I would have not cancelled my wisdom teeth surgery out of fear my freshman year of college, maybe I wouldn't have developed the infection and cyst that resulted in an emergency surgery senior year. Or, perhaps I was destined to get sick anyway and having the surgery sooner would have only meant that I got sick even earlier in life (which definitely would have been worse considering I probably wouldn't have finished college if I had developed POTS as a freshman). On my list of regrets are some silly, some serious, yet living any one of them differently may have altered the course of my life significantly. My question for you, dear readers, is if you could travel back in time to relive any regret, what would it be and why? How would you do things differently and how would it alter your life today? Just something to ponder as the new year approaches. Perhaps the most important resolution I have for the upcoming year is to live a life free of regrets.

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