Earlier today it occurred to me I have encountered some really, ridiculously dumb doctors these past few years. I seriously wonder how some of them ever made it through medical school. I figured I should compile a top ten list while I'm thinking about it so I don't forget some of these gems. Good for a little comedic relief. I actually laughed out loud in their offices at a few of these.
9) "Just stand up slowly and don't do squats or you might pass out."--Primary Care Provider's advice on how to manage POTS
8) "You're so flexible you shouldn't be in any pain. Only stiff old people like me have pain."--Primary Care Provider's response to dislocated jaw
7) "Here's some tissues and a prescription for valium. Have you ever seen 'Valley of the Dolls?' That was a good one."--Primary Care Provider's treatment for dislocated jaw
6) "I'm going to get you something hard to bite down on for whenever you're in pain."--Primary Care Provider's prescription for TMJ pain
5) "Surgery never holds on people like you."--Orthopedic Surgeon examining my joints
4) "Oh wow--your elbows! That's pretty wild!"--Physical Therapist upon joint evaluation
3) "That is the only joint in the body we never learned about in med school."--Orthopedist in regards to the TMJ
2) "Trust me, I'm just as scared as you are!"--Anesthesiologist 5 minutes before my appendectomy
1) "Go home and take it easy. Try to get some rest."--Just about every doctor I've ever seen. Don't they think I've tried that already?