Zebra Boots!!!

These delightful Ugg boots retail for $240, but will likely last forever.

For a similar look, try Target's rain boots for just $29.99.

Two perfect ways to wear your zebra pride this season!

A Country Girl's POTS/EDS Anthem

Ironically, one of my best friends put this Rascal Flatts song on a mix CD for me on my 22nd birthday right before I got sick. Since then, the lyrics have taken on a whole new meaning. I relate to music much differently now than I did before I got sick. That's what life experience and struggle bring to the table. A deeper understanding and appreciation of language and lyrics. 

You feel like a candle in a hurricaneJust like a picture with a broken frameAlone and helpless, like you've lost your fightBut you'll be alright, you'll be alright
‘Cause when push comes to shoveYou taste what you're made ofYou might bend ‘til you break‘Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look upDecide you've had enoughYou get mad, you get strongWipe your hands, shake it offThen you stand, then you stand
Life's like a novel with the end ripped outThe edge of a canyon with only one way downTake what you're given before it's goneAnd start holdin' on, keep holdin' on
‘Cause when push comes to shoveYou taste what you're made ofYou might bend ‘til you break‘Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look upDecide you've had enoughYou get mad, you get strongWipe your hands, shake it offThen you stand, yeah, then you stand
Every time you get upAnd get back in the raceOne more small piece of youStarts to fall into place, yeah
‘Cause when push comes to shoveYou taste what you're made ofYou might bend ‘til you break‘Cause it's all you can take
Yeah, then you stand

To Share or Not To Share?

Although I haven't yet officially committed to the WEGO Health Blogger challenge to blog each and every day during the month of November, I found myself intrigued by many of their prompts including the "disclosure post": how I decide what I do share and what I don't share with my readers.

The answer is simple: I share everything. Everything I've learned, observed, experienced throughout my journey with dysautonomia. Anything and everything that may possibly help my readers gain insight into their own health crises. I feel it is my job to help fellow sufferers in any way I am able.

My personal philosophy (and my nature) is to be highly self-disclosive. Possibly too self-disclosive at times. I lay it all out there. The good, the bad, the ugly. Having a chronic illness is anything but pretty and I am not so good at sugar-coating things. So again, I share it all. Sure, you personally may have no interest in reading about my persistent acid reflux or no desire to read me ramble on about the inherent injustices of invisible illnesses, but someone might. Some reader out there in the world may identify with something I have written. They may feel the same way I have. Or experienced a similar struggle themselves. And if I can help even one person feel a little less alone, then my efforts were not wasted.

When I began blogging, I didn't anticipate having so many readers, or any at all for that matter. I started this blog as a way to cope. To get my frantic, troubled thoughts out of my head. The act of writing has proven to be therapeutic for me. I feel much better after getting all the crap off my chest. But now that I have been blogging for a little while, Defying Gravity has evolved into a more well-rounded blog complete with fun stuff like giveaways, guest bloggers, product reviews and pop culture recommendations. Over time I would like to start sharing recipes, how to's and maybe even vlogs. But for now I am proud of myself for simply managing to post on a consistent basis and hope to continue blogging everything I can in the future.

Fall TV Picks!

Sometimes, with chronic illness, one is forced to watch a lot of television. With a bad head cold, one is awarded the opportunity to catch up on all this television. Good thing I am a bit of a TV buff. What am I watching this season? Here are my favorites.

Sunday night: Revenge

Monday night: Dancing with the Stars All Star Edition on ABC, Hoarders and Intervention on A&E

Tuesday night: Hart of Dixie on The CW, Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition on Lifetime, Parenthood on NBC

Wednesday Night: The New Normal and Guys with Kids on NBC

Thursday Night: Beauty and the Beast on The CW, Glee on Fox, Don't Trust the B in Apt 23 on ABC

Friday Night: Malibu Country and Shark Tank on ABC

Saturday Night: Saturday Night Live on NBC

The Head Cold from Hell

It has been a long time since I've had a cold of this magnitude. What began as a little tickle in my throat Halloween night was a full blown whopper of a cold by the next morning. Nothing is worse than being sick on top of sick. I have a fever. My head hurts. My nose is running a mile a minute. Yet I still can't breathe out of my right nostril. My eyes are dry and bloodshot, rapidly resembling those of Natalie Portman a la Black Swan. And my TMJD is in another rip roaring pain flare thanks to all the violent sneezing I've been doing. I am about ready to knock myself out with Nyquil. Or maybe a Hot Toddy. But it's probably not a smart idea to mix any of that with Tylenol. So I am playing the waiting game. Waiting for this misery to abate.

As luck would have it, I had an appointment with an ear nose and throat doctor yesterday that had been scheduled for a long time. On day one of a bad cold. He said it will take 5-10 days before antibiotics are warranted. Right now it is an old-fashioned viral head cold. And there's no cure for that but time according to the ENT anyway. But the good news is, my hearing tested in the normal range despite the ringing in my own ears being much louder than any of the audible beeps. I passed that test by sheer luck I think.

Does anyone have any safe and effective home remedies for the common cold? My regime currently consists of steam inhalation, Halls cough drops, vitamin c, hot tea and spicy salsa. But what I really need is some sleep. And of course I gargle repeatedly to prevent the germs from having a party in my throat thanks to the timeless teachings of The Cosby Show.

Halloween Hauntings

Do you ever wonder what might have been if you hadn't been struck by chronic illness at an early age? For some of us, the onset was gradual. But for others, like me, the onset was startlingly abrupt. One day I was dancing and hosting talkshows and the next I was down in bed barely able to move. Five years later, I have seen some significant improvement but my current self is still a far cry from my former self who could tackle multiple tasks on a daily basis without thinking twice about it.

Ever since I got sick, I have been haunted by my former self. Valedictorian voted "most likely to succeed," president of (nearly) every high school organization and college graduate with three degrees. I had the world at my fingertips it seemed and it was ripped away from me in a heartbeat the day I got sick. People from my past who don't know the whole story of what happened to me must assume that I've become a failure or a recluse, not living up to the outlandish expectations imposed on me by a small town and its overly-interested inhabitants.

While it's true that I care entirely too much of what others think of me, sometimes I can't help but feel sorry for myself. Maybe it's how the chronically ill are conditioned. People are either pitying us, or not believing us. There is very little empathy shown by others. Trying to observe my own situation objectively as if I were an outsider looking in on my own life, I must admit it's a pretty pathetic picture most of the time. Even older people in poor health pity my life, or shall I say existence, as a twentysomething. They know that when they were my age, or even in their thirties, forties, fifties, they were able to do as they pleased without any significant bodily restictions or limitations imposed on their lives. They traveled, raised families, played sports. I do none of those things. I am stuck in every sense of the word. Every now and then, I see a glimmer of my former, pre-illness self start to surface but then quickly fade when my physical symptoms kick in, reminding my current self that it cannot do what it used to, or what it had planned to do in the future.

What would my life look like today if I weren't sick? I ask myself that question all the time. I would likely be living in a high-rise minimalist penthouse in the city with a career that I enjoyed and comfortably afforded my lifestyle. I would have a vibrant social life filled with people my own age and dinners rarely eaten at home alone. I would barely sleep because I would be too busy enjoying life, but when I did sleep it would be restful, restorative sleep. I would shop every single day if I so chose, simply because I'd have the ability to remain upright for long periods. I would be building a house that I designed myself and planning for a future marriage, family, etc. I would take tons of road trips. And sometimes, I would drive for miles and miles and miles just because. I would go to Australia. Heck, maybe I'd live there for a bit. I would dance ballet again, or even teach it. I would live my own life and live it well without caring about what anyone else thought. I would never have doctors appointments to deal with. I would be happy.

I often wonder why those who lack ambition in life seem to never really get sick. Many people would be content to stay home day in and day out living a life of isolation with little stimulation. But not me. This type of existence is for the birds, certainly not for people like me. I can't pretend I am content with my situation. I am not there yet. I want things to change for the better in a big way. I want to be 100% my old self again. That girl had reasons to get up in the morning and push herself and her body let her do everything she wanted to. I want my body to cooperate with my mind's wishes like it used to. I want them to be in sync with each other so that I can be my complete self again instead of the sad ghost of my former self I have become.

Fall Update

I love the fall. It is definitely my favorite season. We had been spoiled with pacific northwest sunshine and perfect crisp fall weather until a couple days ago when things took a turn for the worse and the rain set in. And when I say rain I don't mean light showers. I mean monsoons that result in massive puddles and darkness all day. Don't get me wrong, we desperately needed the rain because of all the forest fires we'd had lately. The air is much cleaner now that it's rained and I'm breathing easier because of it. Pesky sinus problems had been plaguing me pretty badly in September. I despise sinus headaches. (Any readers out there have any natural remedies for sinusitis? Not a big fan of antibiotics...)

But other than sinus issues that things have been looking up health-wise. Physical therapy is going well and I am blessed to be working with therapists who are familiar with both TMJD and EDS. Don't get me wrong, I still have aches and pains, but I haven't been dependent on round-the-clock tylenol as I had previously been. I have also discontinued taking 1/2 a flexeril at bedtime because it was giving me tachycardia all day long as a side effect or reaction. Most prescription drugs seem to disagree with my constitution. I had also grown tired of the daily tylenol for months on end. Especially after Dr. Oz mentioned how over-the-counter analgesics like tylenol and ibuprofen can lead to hearing loss after longterm use. Considering that my grandpa has better hearing than I do, it's probably not a bad idea to cut way back on the Tylenol consumption. My ears ring a bit and my grandparents both insist that I'm hard of hearing. Perhaps it's just because I prefer not to have to strain to hear the television. Or maybe being front row at all those concerts as a teen wasn't such a good idea after all. Or maybe it really is the years of chronic Tylenol use. But I have noticed the need to turn up the volume on my iPod lately.

I attribute my pain relief and improved POTS symptoms to two things. The first is that I have begun taking a multivitamin, extra C, and cod liver oil which has helped A TON with joint pain. I have also begun researching amino acid therapy after being inspired by what I read on lessflexible.com. A woman with EDS began an injectible amino-acid regime (monitored by a physician of course) and explained how it helped her become less flexible in regards to her hypermobility form of EDS (the same type I am afflicted with). I need to do a bit more research before delving into the complicated world of supplements but her personal experience sounds promising and may very well hold some validity.

The second is that the barometric pressure has been high and stable (with the exception of the barometer falling the past few days). I definitely tend to have more controlled symptoms when it is sunny but not hot and coincidentally when the barometric pressure is high and consistent. Like wearing a giant compression stocking. Thus a controlled, comfortable environment is very helpful for controlling POTS symptoms.

The fall has been filled with appointments. Trying to get well has become a full-time job. I am trying to fit in a bunch of random appointments before the new year since my deductible has finally been met. This means I will be continuing with physical therapy, a few more acupuncture sessions, adding massage and hopefully some counseling too. My EP also wants me to go to the autonomic testing lab at the university for autonomic testing and see one of their EDS specialists as soon as possible. I still have not proceeded with the upright MRI of my brain and spine as I am scared of what the results could show. I am also seeing a sleep specialist and an ENT before the end of the year. Too. Many. Appointments. But it beats having to pay for them next year so I am trying to be diligent and put in the time and effort to hopefully improve more of my symptoms. Fingers crossed for some decent doctors who aren't jerks and don't waste my time. On that note, I am digging the lyrics to Sara Bareilles' song, 'King of Anything.' Remind you of interactions with clueless know-it-all doctors much?

Fall FaceCaddy Giveaway Winner!

And the lucky winner of a zebra-print FaceCaddy is...Kathleen W!

A big thanks to John over at CaddyWraps for sponsoring this giveaway!

POTS and Dysautonomia Awareness 2012

These lovely infographics are courtesy of Art Director Rachael Rodriguez of Rsquared Creative.

October is Global Dysautonomia International Awareness Month!

Dysautonomia International has declared October to be Global Dysautonomia Awareness Month!